Light and shadow

Today I went to a reading of Jackie Kay's 1987 play Chiaroscuro which blew me away. I went on my own, after being invited by my tutor at Goldsmiths, Natasha Bonnelame, who was hosting the event. I sat apart from everyone else, as my anxiety was sky-rocketing after being directed by three different people and then almost not finding the right room. I thought I was going to be late and was freaking out - luckily, I wasn't late and the event was running behind time, which gave my heart a moment to return to a normal rate.

I took this photo after the reading, on a high of loving life
and seeing the beauty in it. Happy Spring, guys.

The play consisted of four black female friends in conversation with each other, bringing up themes of racism, identity, history, homophobia, belonging, and many more. The four actors who performed the reading (Radhika Aggarwal as Aisha, Jade Anouka as Opal, Lorna Brown as Yomi, and Jessica Murrain as Beth) each did a wonderful job of bringing the characters to life in a way that wasn't merely a reading, but more of a journey.

I was touched by the issues raised in Chiaroscuro: of being rooted to the history of your family through your name, of not knowing where you belong, of questioning whether you should be yourself fully - if that was okay.

Southside with who?

Ever since I saw the trailer for the film Southside With You, I knew I was going to see it in the cinema. It had a totally adorable premise: the Obamas' first date. Although I'm not a big reader of romance novels, I've got a soft spot for it in film; especially if there's something decidedly un-mainstream about the story. I've been generally quite disappointed with the wealth of superhero films and remakes that have flooded the cinema these past few years - it's all getting a bit predictable and has always been overwhelmingly white.

Realising that Southside With You was being released in the UK on Friday 30th September (more than a month after the initial US release, naturally), I arranged with my girlfriend to go see it on its opening night. As we were meeting up with friends later in the evening, we chose the Odeon in Surrey Quays which was close to the location.

We bought the tickets for the 7.30pm screening from the self-service machine, got some popcorn and drinks and then made our way inside the screen. It was empty, I guess because everyone else was settling in the opposite screen where Bridget Jones's Baby was about to start. We made ourselves comfortable in the best seats (middle row, middle chairs. The perfect vantage point for the cinema) and prepared to sit through half an hour of ads and trailers.

After seeing Oatly Oat Milk advertised three different ways, two ushers came into the screen to inform us that the film had been cancelled and we would have to leave. We walked out very confused (I think I kept repeating "how can they just cancel the film?"). We were eventually told that the film would run into another film and had meant to be cancelled from before we even bought the tickets. They offered us complimentary tickets if we watched another film that evening, which meant we still got to watch a film and could come back at any time to see Southside With You.

We saw Bridget Jones's Baby which was so funny I forgot that I was confused and annoyed by the cancellation of the film we had originally intended to see that night. But now it's two days later and I'm not laughing at Bridget's completely awkward and hilarious life, I'm back to being disappointed in the whole situation.

That Friday was the release date of Southside With You in the UK. The Odeon cinema in Surrey Quays had one showing of it that night. Which they then cancelled because it would "run into another film". And, yeah: sure. I guess that's a believable excuse, but then they should have just put on the other films at a delayed time and cancelled the last film of the night, since my girlfriend and I were already in the screen and the ads had come on.

It felt to me like they didn't care about the only film screening at the time with a predominantly black cast and thought nobody else would either, and so couldn't be bothered to put it on.

Actors Parker Sawyers and Tika Sumpter sum up my feelings in their expression.

Ageing

For my birthday this year I was in Crete and away from my family ("family" here meaning my mum and siblings). I had mixed feelings on my birthday. On one hand, there's always that magical sense of the day being a celebration of yourself - people give you gifts they think you'll like because they love you (or were invited to your party and feel awkward showing up empty-handed). They write messages in cards that express how special you are to them. They generally do their best to make sure you're happy on that day.

On the other hand, it's... Well...

I wrote a short something on my birthday that describes my mixed feelings. It was supposed to be a Facebook status but I didn't really want people on Facebook to figure out it was my birthday or for my family to start commenting hearts on my status. So I held on to it for my blog, and now that I've remembered I do in fact have a blog and should update it, here it is.

22 is not a milestone age, but when I was 16 a friend of mine died suddenly, just before his 18th birthday. His death got me thinking: would I reach 18? What about 21? Then I started seeing death in other places: one cousin at 16, my nan, another cousin at 13, an aunt. Young or old, death didn't wait for anyone to be ready - it just took people.

22 is not a milestone age, but I'm happy with what it's given me: long years of laughter, three brilliant brothers, a wonderful girlfriend. And I'm looking forward to, at 22, working a job I (surprisingly) love as well as starting a masters degree and being surrounded by cats.

22 is not a milestone age, but I'm glad to have reached it.