Past, present and poetry

I'm not going to sugar-coat it: I've been putting off this post for a while. Purely because it required me to hook my camera up to my laptop and transfer some files, but I finally forced myself to do it. Here you can witness the mess that was my most recent poetry reading. I call it a mess because I was incredibly nervous about reading, more so than I ever have been. I'd already cancelled on the event once (but they rescheduled it anyway because of a flooding issue, giving me a second chance). I didn't read out all the poems I originally planned to, either, because I just wasn't ready.

When I say I've been using poetry as therapy, this is what I mean:

I apologise for the weird cut, the camera had to be changed at the beginning.

Twelfth Night

Last week, I saw Twelfth Night at Shakespeare's Globe. Which confused me for about five minutes just now as I struggled to find any mention of the performance online, and only managed to come up with links to the 2012 all-male production that has since transferred to Broadway.

But I digress.

Photo credit: Sarita le Roux

Work-life balance

I'm not going to sugar-coat it. I'm struggling to balance my work and life.

Prior to this, I didn't have to. All I had was life: university life. Work was a tiny ingredient thrown into the mix but it didn't really impact me because I didn't do it out of necessity, I did it for a little extra money while I studied. Now I'm not studying, I work from 9.10am until 3.10pm. In a secondary school.

When I first started, I was surprised to discover that I enjoyed helping out in the classes. Kid needs an extra nudge to do their work? Great! Kid would benefit from someone proof-reading their coursework? Pick me! Some kids were kicked out of their class and need a reminder that school is for education? I'm there! I was (and still am) making a difference to a small number of children who would otherwise fall through the cracks of the education system. And like any fool, I thought I would continue to enjoy myself.

It's not the waking up at 6am that gets to me. Or the being immersed in a school of hundreds whilst being an introvert. It's the fact I haven't spent actual time with my friends in weeks. My hobbies have dwindled to nothing. The people I socialise with outside of work live with me, and are either my mother or my younger brothers. And one of the brothers works at the same school so we see each other throughout the day as well.

I crave companionship. I didn't realise before this job how much value and regard I have for my friends. Hopefully now that I'm aware, I'll be able to adjust so I see friends around work, balancing work with the more fun aspects of life.