No direction = freedom?

I recently enrolled in university, to do an English degree. On Monday there was a department party, in which we were supposed to drink wine and mingle. The only thing I drank was water and my mingling was me standing off to one side, texting a friend who was at another university.

Eventually, I did come across a couple of people I had met before and I stuck to them like glue. One of them invited another girl into our tiny circle, increasing our small number. I swallowed my fear and introduced myself to a beautifully tall yet shy girl and this brought our number to five.

Our conversation was awkward at first but we soon warmed up to each other and got so carried away we were one of the last to leave the party. Even as we made our way out of the building, we didn't stop talking and the topic turned to what we wanted to do once we finished university.

When I expressed my wish to become a writer, they asked why I was just doing English when so many others were doing English and Creative Writing. I shrugged my shoulders and the conversation moved on, but I haven't stop thinking about the answer to that question since. Why did I choose to do straight English?

Part of the reason was because my English teacher told me to. She's kind of my hero so of course I'd take her advice. But there's more to my decision than that.

When it comes to education, I like being told what to do. Where to go, what to read, how to phrase myself. The instructions soothe me, as I don't have to figure out everything on my own.  It makes me feel safe, as all the big decisions are left to someone who has the knowledge. With writing however, it's a completely different story. I like to do my own thing. Competitions that dictate as to what theme to write about I can just about handle. But a tutor demanding I write X amount of words on Y topic, due by Z week? I couldn't do it.

I've already said that writing to me is freedom. You can't put freedom behind a desk, tell it to copy these notes and expect it to produce innovative results. It might work for other people but it does not work for me.